Longing

I am longing for the day I life full time. Wishing I could present myself as female and just be me.
It's killing me inside because I am so near to transitioning but it feels a long way off
If I could I would leave tomorrow but that day will come soon. I love myself for once and i love who I am
I used to feel self hate. I remember times my family wore me down by keeping on my cAse about my hair being long and I gave in and got it cut short and I looked in the mirror and felt bad inside. That was about A year ago and now it's grown back finally and in a
Month I plan on getting a feminine hair style. Would love some red highlights.
Feel so emotional and crying alot.