Girl in me

Today I managed to feel relaxed most of the day. I feel happier ,my appointment with the gic is near ,i am anxious but feel good about finally getting to the gic.

Tonight I cast my mind back to how I felt last Tuesday. I was in weatherspoons and I could see myself ,complete ,by complete I mean with a vagina and breasts , sitting down to pee like any other normal girl. I long for that day to come.

I some times worry what hormones will do to my health and worry what will happen if you cant get hormones forever. I worry about dying. My last fear is one that was drummed in to me as a child and that is fear of not going to heaven for changing my body, my dad kept telling me things like if you vandalise your body that god gave you, you wont get in to heaven. I like to think if there is a god and he created us all ,then why would we be born wrong?. Why would be punished for not wanting to suffer from gender dsyphoria anymore.